Your priorities, hopes and fears change over time. The more people who enter into your life the more you have to lose. Growing up can be INTIMIDATING. So as I'm now officially middle-aged (I'm Scottish so that's depressingly not a joke), here are a few truth- gems I've learnt over the years which you may or may not find useful.
Stop getting worked up about nothing.
Since I first flew out of my Mother's nether regions well ahead of schedule, it was clear I was going to have a problem with people being late. It drives me insane. I get edgy and irritable and if I'M ever late (this wil only happen if I'm waiting on a LATE bus/train/partner/donkey), it makes me want to punch things. It's one of the many traits I'd like to say I'm ok with, but I drive myself to distraction by how annoyed I get over the tiniest of things. Sometimes I stop and take some deep breaths, try to cool down and make myself see that what I'm getting my knickers in a twist about is not worth twisting good knickers for. This is often easier said than done. It became much easier after I was diagnosed with an incurable illness. Even when everything else in my life is in complete chaos, I still remind myself it could be worse: I could be in a coffin. That often serves to help me put things in perspective but I am also well aware this logic doesn’t work for everyone and often doesn’t work for me when I'm feeling at my lowest ebb. But it's worth trying, and worth reminding myself that although I don’t particularly favour "there’s always someone worse off than you" because THAT'S BEYOND OBVIOUS, it's more relevant to grade MY life-events against one another. For example: when I was 12 I thought it was not worth living when Tom who was THE LOVE OF MY LIFE moved 2 streets away, now I realise that was a slight (but only slight) overreaction. Now I worry about things like paying my mortgage and feeding my cats. Albeit without Tom :(
You are actually loved/liked/adored more than you might ever know
People are lack to remind those they love that they love them. I know this because I used to be one of them. When I became ill I was overwhelmed by an outpouring of love. So much so that I didn’t quite know what to do with it and felt strangely uncomfortable. Don’t get me wrong I'd never been short of love in my youth, but suddenly I was faced with people openly telling me how much they care and how sad they would be if they'd lost me. And not by clingy boyfriends. By my friends, family, colleagues, and I'm pretty sure my cat meowed it. I realised that it's very lovely to feel you are worthy of love, that you are totally unique. To know that you are you alone and that other people are willing to share their time and heart with you.Since my diagnosis I'd say thruthfully that a day doesn’t go by where I don’t tell someone I love them. My partner, my cats, my friends and my parents. Mainly my cats OBVS. Several hundred times an hour.
Re-evaluate your goals
When illness, or any circumstance out with your control strikes, it can be hard to see past the horror of the situation you are in. This is wholly natural and understandable. Anything big or small that stops you in your tracks is at the very least incredibly frustrating. But in order to help yourself out of this often black hole it’s important to try to take pride in your small victories. Congratulate yourself for what you have achieved and don’t focus on what you may have been able to do better had you not been ill/otherwise. Rid yourself of the 'what-if's and focus on the ‘what can be’s. You can always surprise yourself at what it is possible to achieve with just a little faith in your own abilities and a lot of enthusiasm. For example my husband's Mumford & Sons have managed to make a whole album out of only one song!
Drink Green tea
Apparently it's good for you.
Don’t marry a Mumford & Son
They communicate with one another solely through harmonica and a complex system of antique whistles.